


lifeless eyes (i waste away with you)

by stonerdyke



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, it doesnt follow canon and its my take on season 2 with some of the elements of s2 sprinkled in, more tags will be added as more chapters come out but uhh enjoy the ride
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-02-29 19:41:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18784900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonerdyke/pseuds/stonerdyke
Summary: "We need to talk," Villanelle says seriously. "Konstantin has told me something that I think you need to hear, so throwing me out is not in your best interest right now."At the mention of Konstanin's name, Eve perks up, and she sighs deeply. "Before you tell me," Eve goes to the drawer in her kitchen and pulls out a pack of smokes that she'd been hiding. "Come outside. I need a cigarette before you tell me how badly I'm screwed." She takes the pack and chugs her champagne until the mug is empty. She probably should have made sure it wasn't laced with poison or whatever, but she didn't even have the energy to care anymore.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'm going to attempt to write a decent killing eve fic, it's not canon it's just a bunch of ideas i had for season 2 that i decided to run with :P going to be full of angst, murder, pining, and lots of villaneve

Eve prayed to any God that would listen that Villanelle wasn't dead. Every day, reading articles about stabbings in Paris, or that one day the news would come and it would say that a woman in her mid twenty's had died due to a stab wound, and every day she thought about it until her own mind consumed her. _If I killed her, I wouldn't forgive myself._

And now Oksana was here, alive in the flesh, ready to surprise Eve once more, until Eve surprises both of them.

"I love you, Oksana."

Eve's heart finally admits it, when a knife is at her throat and a teasing smile grows on Villanelle's lips, her eyes glowing bright, childish and innocent at the sight of Eve’s collapse. She knows that this is what pushed Eve over the edge. A moan escapes as Oksana's pale, thin fingers place themselves against the exposed skin, and Eve curses herself internally for getting nervous, for feeling these butterflies.

"Well," Oksana says, taken aback. "This...makes things much more interesting." 

As she says this, she curls the tip of the blade up to meet Eve's chin, and Eve holds her breath. Oksana can feel Eve's rapid heartbeat, her cat eyes scanning Eve's for any hint of a lie or doubt.

"Fuck you," is all she can muster. She can't believe she said that out loud.

 _Of course,_ Eve thinks quickly, trying to come up with an excuse and ultimately failing. She had been forcing this deep down inside her for too long, just like all the other dark thoughts that were threatening to creep out. _I'm in love, and my soulmate is this psychopathic killer who is inches from slitting my throat._ "When I first saw you," Villanelle continues slowly, she's loving this, playing with Eve's emotions, the blade pressed down more into the skin and all the two can do is stare at one another waiting for the next move. 

"Please don't tell me," Eve's whisper is barely audible and she sounds scared, terrified of the truth. _Deep down she feels the heat in the pit of her stomach._ She knows already, can feel that aching feeling deep inside her chest, but if she can stop Villanelle from saying anything, she doesn't have to confront it. The cat and mouse game would continue on like it usually did, and Eve didn't have to talk about her feelings. Not now, not ever.

"I still really like you," Oksana breathes. Her hand is trembling now, almost as if it hurt her to say the truth, as if this confession of love was the hardest thing Villanelle's ever done. Eve keeps her eyes on the knife and looks anywhere but Villanelle's eyes, and Eve lets her mind wander, lets her thoughts drift to if Oksana had fallen in love before, had any grasp on real emotions, of course she couldn't have known. Psychopaths could not feel love, that's what Eve had learned and been drilling in her mind every day since but the thought, the thought that lasted for less than a second and immediately was brushed away while Eve tried to sleep against her husband, tried to run her fingers through his hair gently so to not wake him. Her breath was ragged as she imagined, as the thought crossed her mind, _could she possibly love me?_

Then Eve couldn't take it, and promised herself to get rid of these feelings any way she could. Even if it meant ripping out her own heart with her bare hands.

Oksana smiles and moves the blade away. "I'll keep this as our little secret," she whispers into Eve's ear before leaving. "Say hi to your husband for me, Eve Polastri." She leaves through the front door, slips right out of Eve's grasp, and all Eve can do is sit there at the table with her head in her hands and her breathing unsteady, her heartbeat thrumming hard against her ribs, she can feel herself getting dizzy. 

-

"Darling?" Eve wraps herself up in her jacket almost as if hiding this new realization from her husband's eyes, and she forces a smile to calm Niko's worried face. "Is there a reason the door's wide open?"

"Oh," Eve says, ready to come up with an excuse, and Niko can tell something has left Eve upset. It's written all over her face. Something has happened, and Niko can't play pretend this time. Niko touches her then, a sigh leaving him, and before Eve can talk his lips brush against hers, hard, she feels the stubble and roughness against her own mouth. 

"Are you going to leave me?" Niko mutters, gently caressing Eve's face, and he's so tender and loving and _normal_ that it hurts Eve, right down to her core, that she could damage someone like this, who loved her so deeply.

"No," she answers abruptly, unable to tell whether it's a lie. "I love you far too much."

-

Niko files for divorce a few months later, and Eve can't tell him how sorry she is that this happened, that her normal life was crumbling in her hands and she couldn't save it, and it was fucking Villanelle's fault for putting a damn knife to her throat, but she was too tired to fight, she had already given up making an effort. Something inside Niko died that day, left him half the man he used to be, _was he ever a man?_ Villanelle's voice in her ear and Eve fights it even though she can't shake the feeling of relief that falls over her when all is said and done. She had fought hard to keep her life normal, to keep Niko from leaving, too, but it was all for nothing. She couldn't change his mind.

She couldn't make him forget, either, the nights they spent trying to have sex where Eve would break down, where she found herself unable to touch her husband or even kiss him, and how she spent most nights cramped in her study frustrated with her life and how nothing was working, and how she'd wake up with a blanket wrapped around her and even more guilt gnawing at her insides. Niko wouldn't let her forget the important days she missed because of work, or how Niko needed her that day, or the plans in general that were promised but never happened.

Eve's yearning to see Villanelle seemed to grow stronger each day when she remembered Niko's absence, or when she smelled the perfume Villanelle had given her after finding her address, or when she dreamt about blood red lips crashing into her own. The daydreams came, almost as if they were teasing her - a daily, daily reminder that Villanelle was the reason for Eve's spiralling into insanity, because what other reason could there be, for fuck's sake she had feelings for the one she had wanted to kill with her bear hands not too long ago. The reason her grip on the normal life she had been living was beginning to weaken. It all became about Villanelle, finding her, making her pay for what had happened to her marriage and to Bill, and Eve's cutting carrots in the kitchen when she breezes in, her lips pink, the same grin that made her eyes light up plastered perfectly on her face, and Eve knows she's staring, staring at her mouth...

"I heard the news," Villanelle smiles slyly. "I brought you some champagne. It helps." Eve's eyes travel down to her hands, a heavy bottle of champagne in one of Villanelle's hands and a towel soaked in blood in the other. "I had a job beforehand so I apologize for the mess."

"Get _out_ of here, Oksana," Eve groans, but her actions are telling her otherwise, taking the bottle of champagne without even thinking. Villanelle smiles and lifts an eyebrow. "I can't look at you right now."

"You know, Eve," Oksana's hand reaches to touch Eve's, and she instinctively pulls away. A perfect pout on Villanelle's lips. "It's rude to kick your guests out, especially after they've been so kind as to get you such an expensive gift. He left you the house, did he?" 

"I'm not in the mood for games," Eve's tone shifts and she hopes it feels as threatening as she wants it to be. She opens up her cupboard and tries to find any champagne glasses, but settles on the chipped mugs in the back. She sets a cup in front of Villanelle, and she laughs quietly.

"We need to talk," Villanelle says seriously. "Konstantin has told me something that I think you need to hear, so throwing me out is not in your best interest right now."

At the mention of Konstanin's name, Eve perks up, and she sighs deeply. "Before you tell me," Eve goes to the drawer in her kitchen and pulls out a pack of smokes that she'd been hiding. "Come outside. I need a cigarette before you tell me how badly I'm screwed." She takes the pack and chugs her champagne until the mug is empty. She probably should have made sure it wasn't laced with poison or whatever, but she didn't even have the energy to care anymore.

Eve doesn't smoke. _Usually._ And Villanelle doesn't, either, or at least that's what she tells her, but Villanelle takes a drag anyway. The world looks like it's ending, all cloudy and a storm overhead, but Eve doesn't care. _Let the world end right now,_ she begs, _so I can finally get some peace of mind._

"Konstantin told me -"

"Can I see your stab wound?" Eve interrupts. 

Villanelle blinks, once, and hands Eve the cigarette before lifting up her shirt, barely, showing off the scar. _All of that blood from just that tiny wound,_ Eve remembers, reaches her hand out to trace it with her fingertip. She can remember the feeling, clear as day, feel the warm blood gushing onto her hands as if she were still in that Paris apartment straddling Villanelle while she plunged a knife deep into her stomach.

"It still hurts, sometimes," Villanelle whispers. "And I know that when it does, you're thinking about me."

"I still think about you," Eve admits. "Every day." Villanelle's eyes are so soft, and Eve clears her throat. "Tell me what Konstantin said."

"He said there was a hit out on you. I had to come and see if you were still alive."

"The Twelve put a hit out on me?" It shouldn't surprise her, and it doesn't, all she can really focus on is the way Villanelle looks right now, the way _Oksana's_ looking at her, and how much her heart hurts and she wishes she brought the bottle out so she can chug the rest of it without even thinking.

"Yes," she nods curtly. 

"Why are you really here, Oksana?" Eve can't believe it took her this long to figure it out. Her face breaks into a smile that's enough to worry Villanelle.

"I have to kill you," Oksana's eyes light up at the sight of Eve's face.

Eve just laughs.


	2. the meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I won't hurt you," she says, and the sincerity in her voice almost makes Eve believe it. If it were any other situation, if Villanelle didn't do what she did, if the universe would just make this easier for the both of them, Eve could have loved her. This was not another place, another time. Eve had let those three words slip, and she wouldn't let it happen again. No matter how much she cared about Villanelle, no matter how much she thought Villanelle cared about her, she was still here to kill Eve. That was her job. Eve's job was to hunt her down. Villanelle's fingers reach to caress Eve's face, and it takes her back to when Villanelle did the same thing in her room on her bed. "Do you believe me?"
> 
> "Of course not," Eve mumbles, swatting the woman's hand away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know there was kind of a long gap in between these two chapters, but i'm really working hard and editing it to make sure i like it enough to post it, so there might a lot of time between each chapter but i'm doing my best!

"Do you want to kill me?" Eve asks, softly, taking the bottle of champagne and placing her mug in the sink. "I mean, if the Twelve didn't put a hit out on me, would you want to kill me anyway? Do you want to get revenge on me for stabbing you?" Her lips meet the bottle and she drinks until her head is swimming and Villanelle scrunches her eyebrows in concern. She probably hadn't been expecting Eve to act so calm about this. _Or she's worried about your drinking._

"I don't."

"Why not?" Eve almost whines. 

"You stabbed me because you care about me," Villanelle's hand reaches out to touch Eve's, and it stays there for a few seconds until she gently pulls the bottle from Eve's own hands but doesn't take a swig, opting to place it on the table instead. Eve wants to tell her: _It's not true. I just wanted to stab you to see if I could. I wanted the life to drain out of your eyes and finally let Bill rest in peace._ She doesn't say any of this though, because she knows that for the most part, it isn't true. Those were the logical excuses her brain could make up, but deep down she knew that her obsessive behavior wasn't normal, that all she could think about was Villanelle's mouth and her eyes and her hair and the way she looked underneath Eve and how she couldn't sleep for weeks after the stabbing, how she searched everywhere online for a body, and how, when she couldn't find one, she thought about how Villanelle could still be alive. She needed it to be true, more than she needed air to breathe.

Eve's looking right at Villanelle's mouth, the way her lips move and when she says certain words, Eve can see a flash of her tongue. It's been too long since she's seen Oksana, and she worried that the last meeting would be the _last,_ that Oksana would call her a fool and kill her and tease Eve about loving her. How embarrassing would it have been to confess her love and then get murdered immediately after.

But here she was, talking, sitting on Eve's couch while she looks at her like that with those big stupid dumb puppy-dog eyes and she _can't_ take it.

"How do you feel about me?" Eve whispers, then, the room unbearably silent and still as Villanelle watches. "If you don't want to kill me, why are you here?"

"I won't hurt you," she says, and the sincerity in her voice almost makes Eve believe it. If it were any other situation, if Villanelle didn't do what she did, if the universe would just make this easier for the both of them, Eve could have loved her. This was not another place, another time. Eve had let those three words slip, and she wouldn't let it happen again. No matter how much she cared about Villanelle, no matter how much she thought Villanelle cared about her, she was still here to kill Eve. That was her job. Eve's job was to hunt her down. Villanelle's fingers reach to caress Eve's face, and it takes her back to when Villanelle did the same thing in her room on her bed. "Do you believe me?"

"Of course not," Eve mumbles, swatting the woman's hand away. "I stabbed you. I'm supposed to believe you're not pissed about that?"

"I could never be angry. In fact, I was the exact opposite...I was happy. I felt like I understood you finally, and that made me the happiest. You know, I went looking for Konstantin. He was not too happy to see me, but -" She pauses, looks deep into Eve's eyes as she says this. "He helped me. He took me to a woman in Bulgaria, an old friend of his he told me, who nursed me back to health." She adds, "I'm being honest though. I feel like we understand each other better now, don't you?"

_Stabbing her made her happy._ Eve felt beyond giddy. God, she fucking hates psychopaths.

"Do you know why the Twelve put a hit out on me?"

"You know I don't know that," she tsks. "I don't know who I work for, I only take the orders that have been given to Konstantin. He told me specifically that it was from a higher up in the Twelve but he didn't know anything else. I got so angry with him that I refused to do it at first and took the first flight out of there. I ended up going to Paris again, broke into my old apartment." Her cheeks widen, _like a chipmunk,_ Eve thinks, and she says, "It's so boring now. At least the broken glass is cleaned up, but my clothes were all taken, too. I bet whoever took them didn't even know how expensive it all is." 

"What happened after?"

"I decided to come back and take the job. Konstantin told me I had two weeks to take it, and I did at the very last minute. I didn't want the opportunity to go to anyone else."

"So you are going to kill me?"

"No," Villanelle answers before Eve can even finish. "Not yet."

She doesn't want to ask what that means, or try to figure out the puzzle or Villanelle's mind games, but she breathes a sigh of relief as she hears that. Eve knew that Villanelle couldn't kill her, and that was really the only thing that kept some kind of control over the whole situation. Even after being stabbed, Villanelle still couldn't kill her.

"You are not off the hook yet, Eve Polastri. I don't want to kill you, but you need to tell me something first. Did you mean what you said to me the last time we met?" A knife is pressed against Eve's throat now, she can smell the perfume Villanelle is wearing, and she wonders how long Villanelle's been hiding that, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. She can feel the tip against her skin, itching to be pushed further until blood was pouring out.

"I don't remember," Eve shoots back, even though she's thought about what she said every single minute of every single day. "I was just trying to get you to leave me alone. I needed a distraction, and it worked didn't it? You left."

Villanelle ponders this before moving the knife away. "You're a liar," she whispers under her breath. "I can tell." But the knife is off Eve now, and she's never felt more relieved in her life. She refused to give in to Villanelle, and she'd kick and scream before she ever went down. "You know I don't like liars." She examines the knife in her hands, feels the sharpness of the blade with her fingers. "I haven't used a knife in a long time," Villanelle seems to leave herself for a moment, a far away look in her eye as she touched the blade. "I didn't want to use one after you stabbed me, Eve...I'd been using belts, guns...but I wanted to save the knife for when I saw you again."

"Oksana," Eve's tired. She wants to grab onto her shoulders with all of her strength and shake her until the truth spilled out of her.

"I have a plan," the brightness in her eyes is back. "I just need you to trust me."

"You won't kill me."

"I already told you, Eve!" Villanelle whimpers, annoyed, like a child. "I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you. Do we have a deal?" Eve doesn't think that could be true. As long as Villanelle was a part of Eve's life, she couldn't have a peaceful life, easier said than fucking done when Eve's life was anything but when Oksana Astankova was in the picture.

Villanelle extends her hand, her fingers manicured and perfect, and Eve hesitates, and when she squints to look at what's underneath her fingernails, her breath leaves her when she remembers that it's blood. Eve doesn't know who it belongs to, nor does she want to figure it out, and a small part of her brain screams at her and bangs her fists, trying to tell Eve to get the fuck out of there before anything worse happened and Eve was left dead in a ditch somewhere. There's a minute, a complete sixty seconds, where time seems to stand still with the two of them; _just_ the two of them, no Niko, no Carolyn and Kenny trying to talk sense into her, the Twelve nonexistent...God, it was almost perfect. Eve wanted to wrap up in Villanelle's skin then, thinks just for that minute that things could fall into place and Eve could truly love Villanelle without a care in the world. All she could think about was her hand, and how Eve's limbs work without thinking, and her hand stretches to meet Villanelle's, and it's almost as if they're made for each other. Villanelle's touch lingers for as long as it can, and Eve shot an icy cold glare in Villanelle's direction, faking disgust and forcing the feeling deep down inside her that was hungry for more.

Eve doesn't know what comes over her, but she uses the opportunity to tighten her grip on Villanelle's hand, and pull her forward until they were eye to eye. "I'll take my chances." Her breath is hot, and Villanelle's breath is heavy and fast as she stares Eve down. "I don't need you to take care of me, Oksana. You know I can take care of myself. Fuck the Twelve, I'll find them all before they can catch me."

"You'll die," her voice is panicked, like she wasn't expecting Eve to turn her down. Her face breaks out into a smirk, finally feeling some kind of power over the assassin. "Think about it, you'll die. The Twelve will do anything, use anything, to hunt you down, and you don't know how to protect yourself!" 

"Why do you care so much about what I do?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes!" Eve inhales. "My whole purpose is to _catch_ you, Villanelle, to put you in a prison and let you rot, so why do you care about what happens to me? You should want me dead! You should have killed me when you broke into my house that night! Villanelle, you could kill me at any moment here, you could have poisoned the champagne or stabbed me or put a gun to my head at any point, but you didn't. You haven't killed me yet, even after all of this. So yes, of course it fucking matters. It has to." 

Eve takes the opportunity to look at her mouth and how close she is, staring right into Villanelle, her eyes, down to her core, past the guard she's put up, and all she can see is the void. V is watching her too, but it's more intimate, like she's trying to convey to Eve all of the emotions that built up while the two were apart. Eve's grip on Villanelle loosens, and her hands go to run themselves through her hair. Eve had spent time thinking about Villanelle and her life, her family, who she really was, and it didn't occur to her that V had been thinking about her, it still felt unreal, she could have been trying to figure out what Eve was doing the whole time. She probably tried to figure out a way to send Eve the message that she was alive, but Eve knew she was playing it safe in front of Konstantin. She did shoot him, after all, and Eve's curious as to how the hell they got back to their weird relationship after all was said and done.

"You're...the only thing that makes me feel." Oksana finally admits, tearing her gaze away from Eve, cowering like she'd just been slapped. "When I killed people, I couldn't feel anything. They evaluated me a few times, Konstantin was worried that my training was compromised, and every picture they showed me, I truly felt nothing. Then I heard about you, and when I saw you for the first time, I felt -" Villanelle shakes her head, trying to find the words. "I felt...excited."

_I felt it, too._ Eve can't look her in the eye. _I felt it._

"You're insane."

"You'll die," she repeats, ignoring Eve's meek attempt at a protest against her plan, and there's no playfulness, no ridicule anymore, it's the truth and Villanelle has laid it out on the table. "So please, come with me." She caresses Eve's face with her hand, running her thumb over her lips. "Please, Eve."

"Fine." Eve doesn't want to fight. Not anymore.

Villanelle's face finally breaks out into that shit-eating grin, and the tension from moments before dissolves in mere seconds. "You're a smart woman, Mrs. Polastri. I'll get a car for us, so go upstairs and pack your things. We need to get out of here by morning." She's gained control over the situation before Eve can even blink, and she whips out a cellphone before dialing a number and speaking in French, putting the phone to her chest and mouthing: _Go, now!_

Eve kicks herself for it, but follows Villanelle's orders, anyway.


	3. you could break me overnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve reluctantly sits as far away from Villanelle as possible. They spend most of the day watching a few movies, moving closer to one another as each hour passed. The two would take swigs from the wine bottle occasionally, their brains growing fuzzy from the alcohol, and as the end credits for the movie start to play, Eve looks and realizes how close they are. Villanelle is laying her head in her lap, probably drunker than she realizes, and Eve's hands are touching Villanelle's hair, down her back.
> 
> She lets out a soft sigh into the touch, and looks up at Eve. 
> 
> "You're beautiful."
> 
> "You're drunk," Eve dismisses it, though it causes her heart to flutter. She thinks again just how easy it would be to let herself love Villanelle, but the fact that she can't let herself slip past that point, no matter what. It would mean admitting to herself that her life would never be normal again, and she couldn't handle that. She wasn't sure if she could.

It takes a few minutes for Eve to calm her breath, grabbing for anything of value and stuffing it in the same case as the one Villanelle stole, not too long ago. She should have asked if she needed to pack light, and struggles with the decision before ultimately deciding to bring what she can. Her room doesn't have much to it anymore, not since Niko left and took his stuff while Eve was at work, almost everything that was his was gone, like he was never even there, except for the key to the house and a note saying goodbye. _God, what a coward,_ a voice spits out bitterly, and she doesn't know if it's Villanelle's or her own. She knows, a long time ago, that she loved Niko, maybe still even loved him, and she was with him for so long. It was routine at that point, a routine that Eve found herself hopelessly bored in day in and day out, but it was comfortable, safe. 

_Normal,_ she thinks. But with Niko gone, and Villanelle here, nothing could ever go back to normal for her. The last thing she packs, face down on her nightstand because she couldn't bear to look at it, was a picture of Eve and Niko on their honeymoon, a smile plastered on Eve's face that she couldn't remember if it was fake or not. Still, part of her wanted to hold on, and Villanelle's breezes into the room, barely making a sound, before examining her suitcase and then rolling her eyes at the picture. Eve grunts as she forces the suitcase closed, and she runs her hands through her hair before sighing, "What next?"

"I'll have a car out here in five minutes," she says, examining the bed, the disgusting grey sheets Eve hasn't changed in forever, before her eyes stop and stare intently at something. She giggles, like she's caught Eve with something she shouldn't have. "You still have the perfume I gave you." 

"I never use it."

"You like lying to me tonight, Eve," her tongue clicks. "Why can't you just be honest with me? Things will be much easier if you tell me the truth." She's talking about that time. Eve bites her lip, doesn't have time to respond before Villanelle's phone rings and she's rushing Eve downstairs and out the door. Her phone rings loud through the empty street, startling the both of them and making Villanelle yelp, "Eve! You have to get rid of that!"

Eve holds her phone to her chest instinctively, shielding it from Villanelle, hissing out through clenched teeth, "You are not breaking my phone a third time, Oksana."

"I will buy you a new phone," Villanelle replies, holding out her hand. Eve doesn't really have a choice. "Phones are very dangerous, Eve. I don't want anyone to be able to track us." She grabs Eve's hand, using her fingers to trace her wrist, before taking the phone from her and stuffing it into her pocket. "I'll find a good place to get rid of it, but I will buy you a new one when we are safe, okay?"

Eve puts her stuff in the trunk and tries (and fails) to get a good look at the driver's face, but not seeing him clearly enough. It's too dark, and the only light is from the radio's glow. Villanelle demands something in French and he grunts something before driving. 

"Where are we going to go?"

"The airport." Eve waits for Villanelle to say more, but she stays silent.

***

They had been driving for not even thirty minutes before Villanelle's hand rests on Eve's arm, barely even there but enough for her to notice. 

"If I ask you a question, will you be honest with me for once tonight?" Villanelle mutters under her breath, fingers cold against Eve's arm. 

"Depends," she whispers straight away. 

"Did you really mean it?" It must have been a trick. Villanelle's voice slightly fell and Eve caught it. "Did you...do you love me or not?" She hadn't expected her to ask, her eyes glancing nervously to the man who seemed not to have anything on his mind but the road in front of him, and she turns her head to look at Villanelle, surprised to meet her eyes, Eve can't bear to look at her because of how vulnerable she is in that moment. She was used to Villanelle being an asshole, being sarcastic and witty and putting a million walls up, but now here she was with scared eyes and a twitch in her face that Eve's never really noticed before.

"I don't know," and it's true. Eve doesn't know. Eve doesn't know if she truly loves Villanelle, if she can ever one hundred percent love this woman before her, but part of her does care, the part of her that's dark and twisted inside wants to take care of Villanelle and make her happy and give her anything she possibly could, but to call it love - she doesn't want to lie to Villanelle like that if it isn't honest. "I...I'm still going through a lot," she admits. "I don't know..."

Villanelle removes her hand and for a second, Eve thinks that she's offended her, made her upset, until she says something that Eve strains to hear the first time. She thinks she heard Villanelle say _Thank you._

Eve doesn't know what she's thanking her for. 

They arrive to the airport and Eve's immediately ushered through security check so fast it's almost a blur, Villanelle eager to get on the plane as quickly as possible, her eyes nervously scanning for any danger and staying like that, a cat ready to pounce at any moment until they're finally in their seats and the plane takes off and Eve can see her relax, all tension in her muscles gone. Eve still doesn't know where they're going, she was surprised when she heard the destination of this plane - but Villanelle assures her that isn't where they're going. 

Villanelle asks her a question, and she doesn't hear it. Her eyes close, and she doesn't open them again until Villanelle nudges her slightly, her hand caressing Eve's curls, and a breathy whisper, "I didn't mean to wake you." A small blanket is covering the two of them, V probably asked the attendant to get it for them, and Eve's so close to Villanelle it causes heat to rise to her cheeks and throughout her whole body, practically nose-to-nose, Villanelle's breath hot on Eve's face. She had fallen asleep in the crook of Villanelle's neck, and she doesn't move. She just watches Villanelle's tired face, a small smile on her lips, and moves closer to V, even if there was a arm-rest separating the two. Villanelle sighs when she feels Eve against her, feeling the fabric rub against one another, and Eve thinks about what they could do...before clamping her eyes shut, tight, and feigning sleep again.

Eve doesn't remember getting on the next plane, more tired than she realizes. She hadn't slept well since Niko left, she'd been working herself to the bone worrying about Villanelle. It's a smaller plane, now, one that Eve has never really seen before in real life. 

She still doesn't know where they're going.

After two plane trips, Eve presses, "Where are we going, Villanelle?"

Villanelle stifles a laugh before waving down a man and asking him something. His face is friendly though Eve knows not to judge based on that alone, and he extends a hand out to Eve in greeting, which she takes right away, his grip on her hand strong. He's young but looks older than Villanelle, maybe late twenty's. Villanelle shows him something on her phone, and he nods before removing his eyes from Eve. "Take care of her for me, Ivan," Villanelle waves her off. 

"Of course," he replies, his accent dripping into the words.

Eve panics for a second, and looks to Villanelle for comfort. She gets close, touching Eve's cheek with her hand. "Don't worry, Ivan will take you. I'll meet up with you soon, and I'll tell you what our next step is, okay?"

"What the fuck?" Eve growls, tightening her grip on her suitcase. "Who even is this, Villanelle?"

"Just someone who will help me get you somewhere safe," Villanelle quirks an eyebrow. "I would never put you in danger, Eve. Can you trust me?"

Eve rubs her temples. She's going to have a permanent migraine if she has to put up with Villanelle for the rest of her life. Her mind races thinking about why Villanelle would be helping her. Yes, Villanelle was intrigued by Eve, and Eve the same, but once that flame was gone, what would Villanelle do to her then? If she made the wrong step, if she was no longer useful to Eve, would Eve just end up as another Anna? 

_No._ Eve swallows hard, and lets Ivan take her stuff and put it into his truck. Her eyes find Villanelle's again, and she can only find comfort in them. _She cares about me. I care about her. This isn't like Anna. There's more._

Ivan doesn't talk to Eve and Eve doesn't talk to him, either, rather taking in the beauty of outside, snow barely covering the ground. There's a moment where the car in front of them starts to slide and Ivan slams on the breaks, letting out a curse in what Eve thinks is Russian.

"Who are you?" Eve finally asks, her lips pursed tightly. 

"A friend of hers," he coughs into his hand. "She told me you two would be staying."

"What else did she tell you?" She presses, but he just smiles and continues driving, offering Eve a cigarette that she quickly rejects.

"She didn't tell you anything?" Ivan questions, seeming surprised by Eve. His eyes linger down to her hands before he announces, "We're here. Your жена should be coming soon, but she told me to leave you here. I'll show you where everything is, but after that, I need to get back to work." Eve's taken in by the cabin, it's small, and dark against the white of the fresh snow. Ivan takes no time rushing her to the front door, carrying her stuff in his hands although she insisted that she was fine to carry it. The first thing Eve sees is the deer head mounted above the fireplace, the rug on the hardwood, the flickering of the fire and the flames that have covered the room in a dim warm glow. 

"There's two bedrooms," Ivan clears his throat. "And the bathroom is over here," he turns on the light. "A DVD player, too, and movies in the cabinet. Don't drink the tap water." Ivan stuffs Eve's things into one of the bedrooms, and he gives a little wave as he goes. "I have to leave now or I'll be late, but I'm sure she'll be back soon."

And with that, the door closes and Eve's left alone.

 _I'm going to kill her._ Eve doesn't want to sit around and wait for Villanelle, so she takes her time exploring the cabin. It's bigger inside than what she expected, and she decides to look through the cabinets, seeing the movies Ivan was talking about and not finding much else. She doesn't know what she's looking for until she goes into one of the rooms. It looks like it had already been lived in, covered in Villanelle's clothes and her guns and wigs, reminding Eve of when she broke into the apartment in Paris and completely trashed it. 

_Villanelle's stayed here before, but for how long?_ Eve takes her time tracing her fingertips over the younger woman's clothes, her breath catching in her throat at the familiarity of the material and the stains. She knew it, recognized it. It was the outfit Villanelle had been wearing when Eve stabbed her, and she still kept it, even though it was covered in dark spots that left Eve shuddering as she held it closer to her body. 

"Eve?" Villanelle whispers.

"Fuck!" Eve screams, turning her body back around in the matter of seconds and holding the shirt in between the two of them as a barrier. "Villanelle, you can't _do_ that."

"Were you planning on strangling me with that?" V asks instead, holding a danish in her hand, a bite already taken out of it and a curious look on her face. "I don't think it'd work. Maybe it'd be better than a toilet brush, though, right?" She breaks out into a laugh and Eve steadies herself, tries to get her heart rate back to normal. "I brought us some breakfast from a cafe a few miles from here. There's coffee, too, if you want." Villanelle dangles a bag in front of Eve's face and she slips past V, going to the kitchen and grabbing a styrofoam cup full of black coffee. There's a few groceries, too, probably to last them a few days, and a large bottle of red wine sticks out from the bag.

"Will you tell us where the hell we are?" Eve begs a few minutes after, sitting at the coffee table with the cup in her hands and V finishing her danish. "Ivan thought it was strange that I didn't know anything."

"You don't need to worry about Ivan," V tilts her head, smiles and shows her teeth. "He's dead."

"You killed him?" Eve asks incredulously.

"He was asking questions, what else could I do?" Villanelle shrugs, taking a sip of her coffee before wrinkling her nose. "I don't understand anyone who can drink it straight. It tastes like ass." 

"You killed him." 

"That _is_ my job, you know," Villanelle's eyes flicker to Eve's, and they stare at one another until the tension is too much. "He was a person who owed me, but he was going to get too close," V explains, though Eve can't hear much besides the ringing in her ears. "I couldn't let him figure out why we were really here, right?"

"Villanelle I swear to God, I will leave this cabin right now and I won't come back unless you tell me where the hell we are." Eve gets up from the table, towering over Villanelle now and watching her intently. 

"Bulgaria," she mutters softly, and Eve barks for her to repeat it again. "Bulgaria," she says again, louder, glaring right into Eve's soul. "This cabin is where I stayed after you stabbed me. The woman who took me in said I should come here, so I did. We can rest, get back on our feet while we wait and see if the Twelve make a move."

"What happens when the Twelve does make a move?"

"Let me worry about that," Villanelle drags, standing up so that she was looking down at Eve now. If Eve wanted anything in the world right now, it would be to grow a few extra inches, just so Eve can stop feeling as helpless as she does right now. "For right now, though, no one knows we're here. The Twelve most likely think you're dead right now. We just have to wait it out and see what happens." Her eyes leave Eve's and she looks into the living room, where her eyes light up and she damn well pushes Eve out of the way, her knees dropping to examine the DVD player. "Damn woman," she curses. "She hid this from me. I was bored for weeks, and wanted to watch a movie, but she never let me. Watch a movie with me, Eve? Pick whatever you want." 

Eve walks over, opens the cabinet up again and picks out a movie ( _Heathers, God_ ) and puts it on. She remembers the conversation briefly in Villanelle's apartment, about her wanting normal, someone to watch movies with, and could Villanelle _really_ want this? Could she be capable of wanting a normal life? Villanelle's practically begging Eve to come and sit next to her while she gets the movie working, and she wants to ask more questions, mostly about what she felt when she was stuck here for who knows how long healing from the knife wound Eve had given her. The way V was acting now, it reminded Eve of a child on Christmas morning. 

"I'm getting us the wine." Eve admits defeat, and goes to grab the bottle. She knows she should grab some glasses, but she really doesn't care. Eve isn't trying to impress anyone. _Especially_ Villanelle.

Eve reluctantly sits as far away from Villanelle as possible. They spend most of the day watching a few movies, moving closer to one another as each hour passed. The two would take swigs from the wine bottle occasionally, their brains growing fuzzy from the alcohol, and as the end credits for the movie start to play, Eve looks and realizes how close they are. Villanelle is laying her head in her lap, probably drunker than she realizes, and Eve's hands are touching Villanelle's hair, down her back.

She lets out a soft sigh into the touch, and looks up at Eve. 

"You're beautiful."

"You're drunk," Eve dismisses it, though it causes her heart to flutter. She thinks again just how easy it would be to let herself love Villanelle, but the fact that she can't let herself slip past that point, no matter what. It would mean admitting to herself that her life would never be normal again, and she couldn't handle that. She wasn't sure if she could.

"You should learn to take a compliment, Eve Polastri," Eve hears Villanelle mumble, and she laughs. "You have a nice laugh too..."

"Am I crazy?" Eve asks herself out loud, knowing the wine is doing this to her, knows that with each compliment Villanelle gives, it finally feels like Eve is alive again, after all this time. "I'm sitting and drinking wine with a professional assassin." Eve's laugh gets louder as she continues, "who I stabbed, in Paris, after losing my job, who should kill me, but instead, we're drunk and watching fucking _Clueless!_ " Eve snorts. "I lost my husband, and my home, and now I'm cooped up in here with a woman whose whole life is killing people, and this fucking deer head above a fire."

Eve doesn't know when the laughter turns to crying, or when Villanelle is off her lap and holding her while she sobs into her shirt. "It's okay, Eve," she coos, though it's mostly slurring at this point. Eve's never really seen Villanelle loose like this. "We have each other now. It'll all be okay, as long as we have each other." Villanelle's scent is intoxicating, and Eve can't get enough, her head buried into Villanelle and she wants to stay there for as long as V will let her. "You're so beautiful," she keeps saying, and it makes Eve cry harder, all of this is _so_ fucked up, Eve's probably going to need therapy for the next thirty years, if she's even still alive. "I promise I'll keep you safe."

_You're the only thing that makes me feel._

"Let's go," Eve says, muffled, still buried in Villanelle. "To your room."

Eve wipes her face, her mouth, her nose, takes time leading a much drunker Villanelle into her own room, and Villanelle collapses onto her bed, taking Eve with her. 

"I thought about you on top of me a lot," Villanelle grins. "I figured it would happen sooner, but the wait was worth it." 

"I'm _not_ going to sleep with you, Oksana."

She pouts, and God, she hopes Villanelle can't see the effect she's having on Eve. Plus, Eve feels her whole body grow hot at the thought, if she were going to sleep with Villanelle _which she totally wouldn't_ she'd at least want Villanelle to be sober for it. 

Eve takes her time trying to sober up laying next to Villanelle, but it's been a long day and all she wants to do is sleep, and even though it literally only takes five steps to get to Eve's room, she stays with V anyway, lets the younger woman wrap her arms around Eve and stays like that.

She can't remember the last time she slept with Niko like this, just spooning each other until one of them eventually fell asleep. Eventually, she stops thinking about it, falling asleep to the sound of Villanelle's breathing against her. It's the best sleep she's gotten in months. 

She feels V stir against her, and mumble something under her breath, which Eve doesn't hear. But God, if Eve did hear it, it sure as hell sounded like...

_I love you, too._


	4. tied up in villanelle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I thought baths were supposed to be relaxing?" Villanelle asks, her hand finding way to Eve's knee. "If you need something to take your stress away, I'd love to help you."
> 
> "Oksana!" Eve finally snaps. She doesn't know what came over her, but even Villanelle removes her hand and acts surprised. "Don't say anything else, or I swear to God."
> 
> "What -" Villanelle laughs, "You'll stab me again?"
> 
> Eve removes the knife from her pants pocket, and says, "If I do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay!! i've been really working hard on chapter four and rewriting it over and over again until i was satisfied with it. i have about three more chapters planned out, and i'm excited for y'all to read it! (and please comment/leave kudos, it really helps my confidence and pushes me to keep writing :D)

Eve doesn't know what's wrong. Villanelle hasn't looked her in the eye since the night they both got drunk. Only for a few seconds in the early morning, when they both hadn't registered what happened, and their eyes fluttered open and stared straight into the other, and Villanelle's arms holding Eve, and the awkwardness Eve felt as she pulled away and checked to make sure all of her clothes were on before sprinting to her bedroom and thanking God that there was a lock. 

Villanelle doesn't bother her for the rest of the morning, and Eve falls back asleep, dreaming of blonde hair and cat eyes. 

When she gets back up, it's ten-thirty, and there's only silence in the cabin. No sign of Villanelle anywhere, and normally Eve wouldn't bother to worry. This was Villanelle she was talking about, nothing could hurt her. 

_Except Eve did hurt her._

Her memories bring her back to the first time her eyes saw the scar, and how long had it really been since Villanelle and Eve left the apartment in London, it felt like ages ago, and Eve's stomach dropped, her fingers tracing her stomach, like she was touching Villanelle's scar and not her own warm skin. Eve felt terribly awkward, especially since Villanelle won't look Eve in the eyes anymore, and she wonders if what she heard that night was true...and if it was, the consequences of it all. Eve's life completely fell apart if she acknowledged what Villanelle said and so she couldn't. She had to believe that when this was all over, she could continue her life the way it was, except her career wouldn't be waiting for her. She'd probably have to go into accounting. _Whatever._ Anything was better than pining after the woman who killed her best friend. 

Eve can't stay locked up here, she has to get out. She throws on an oversized coat that Niko had insisted she get when they vacationed somewhere, God knows Eve can't remember, and puts on some shoes that were completely inappropriate for Bulgaria, but it's not like Villanelle told her they were going, so she had to put up with it. Eve goes to the fridge, finds a flask with who knows what inside, and puts it in her coat pocket. There's a small knife, a bit smaller than the one Eve had in Paris, and she decides to take that too. Just in case. She leaves the door unlocked, contemplates writing Villanelle a note saying she'd be out but decides against it, pushing the door open and letting a gust of icy cold wind inside. It's unusually cold, but Eve faces it. 

She spends most of her time taking in the scenery. Bulgaria is beautiful. Eve wishes she weren't here alone, that someone else could experience it with her, that Villanelle had stayed and they could have explored around the cabin together, got drunk later that night, and enjoyed each other's company. She finds a trail and takes it, noticing the footsteps in the dirt.

_I think about you all the time._

Will that stop haunting her? Looking back on that, she had felt so embarrassed. Eve was sure she lost her mind when she broke into Villanelle's apartment in Paris, took out all of her frustration and anger on her clothing and the copious amounts of champagne bottles in the fridge. The weight of the gun in her hand, Villanelle's face as they both played the game - What will happen next? Eve's exhaustion as she laid on the bed, Villanelle's fingers caressing her face and moving closer and - God, the feeling of sticking a knife in a psychopath's stomach...her hands were shaking. 

Eve tried to help her. Panic swept over her not even seconds after, and the screaming and Villanelle whispering Eve's betrayal, and Eve scrambling to pick up the broken pieces, and when Eve came out of hiding, Villanelle had disappeared. Eve went after her of course, what else could she do, tried to find her, but it seemed like she vanished out of thin air, and Eve was left with nothing but the deep, deep fear that she had killed her. Villanelle was dead, and it was Eve's fault. She had spent an hour searching, looking like a crazy person with blood on her hands screaming Oksana's name, hoping she'd pop out and ask Eve to take her to a hospital. 

Eve didn't give up. She wondered if Oksana knew that. Eve didn't give up on her, she had gotten a worried call from Niko and he insisted she come home, and she had to. She didn't want to leave. She would have tore up the entirety of Paris if it meant she could find Villanelle and keep her safe. She didn't give up. After she came home, Niko knew she was different, Eve knew she was different. She knew she was different when she said she loved Oksana. 

A tree stump is up ahead, and Eve wobbles over to it and sits down, removing the flask and taking a swig. _Vodka._ Her mouth scrunches up at the taste, straight vodka has never been her thing, but she takes a drink again. She doesn't know when Villanelle will come back, _if she even will,_ and her head starts to pound at the mere thought of Villanelle leaving Eve to die out here alone. She wouldn't. Eve had to have confidence in that, otherwise her thoughts would spiral and she would die out here like some kind of wild animal. Eve steadies her breathing, watches the sky change for a few moments before deciding to get back up and continue on the path. It helped her clear her head anyway, and soon enough, after three different forks in the road, she sucks her breath in.

"I'm lost," Eve says aloud. It's probably because of the alcohol, but more of Eve never has any sense of direction.

All of the paths look the same, and Eve really is going to die out here, and there's no sign of fucking Villanelle. If Eve dies out here, she's going to come back as a ghost and haunt Villanelle for the rest of her damn life, it's her fault she's even in this mess in the first place, it isn't Eve's fault that Villanelle attached herself to the older woman's hip. She can't keep thinking about Villanelle like this, letting her take over Eve's mind. First, she needs to find her way back before it gets dark, and then she can worry about Villanelle. 

***

The sun is barely setting when Eve sees the cabin up ahead. Her feet are sore, probably from the fucking shoes and wandering around aimlessly for what felt like hours, but she's finally back, and she hurries because she's tired and Eve desperately wants a shower. When she gets closer to the bathroom door, she hears Villanelle...crying? 

Eve should probably leave her alone. Eve should do anything - anything instead of opening the bathroom door and finding out why Villanelle, the woman, the psychopath who feels nothing, is crying in the bathroom. Her hand goes to the door knob, and she opens it slowly, watches as Villanelle doesn't even try to hide it, hunched over the sink, watching herself as she cried. Her eyes red and teary, her face flushed and pink, she takes sight of Eve and says, "I thought you left me, Eve." When she says Eve's name, her voice cracks, and she cries harder. Eve can't do anything, just watches in some absurd fascination at the complete vulnerability Villanelle was showing. "You weren't here when I got back. I thought you left m-me because of last night." It's not a bad thing, per say, to catch Villanelle like this, it just wasn't at all what Eve was expecting. Villanelle was a hard-ass and a dickhead, she knew just how to manipulate to get what she wanted, and here she was, crying over _Eve_ of all people. Eve moves closer, murmuring about how she didn't leave, she was still here. Even though all Eve thought about for weeks after Bill's murder was how she wanted to watch the life drain out of Villanelle's eyes, how much she hated Villanelle, she still stayed here, and she wasn't planning on leaving.

"I'm here. Oksana, look at me. I'm not going anywhere." She hopes she doesn't sound as drunk as she feels.

"Where did you go?"

"You left early this morning...I thought you had left me, too," Eve laughs, barely. "I went to go for a walk and I got lost."

"Stupid," Villanelle mutters. "You are going to get eaten by a wild animal and I'm going to worry about you."

"Are you done crying?" Eve grabs a towel. "I'd like to take a bath." 

"Can I go in with you?" Almost like a switch, Villanelle is back to her normal self, and Eve can't say how relieved she is, even if it means putting up with Villanelle's completely inappropriate comments about how she'd love to get in Eve's pants. "I can be on top, like the last time we were in a bath together," Villanelle whispers, a shit-eating grin on her face. 

"I'm locking the door!" Eve says, shoving Villanelle (who had a pout on her face, God) out and into the hallway. There's no lock on the door to Eve's dismay, and she tries not to feel embarrassed as she runs the bath, steam rising to her face. She undresses in front of the mirror, watches each piece of clothing drop to the floor and leave Eve naked and bare. Her hair does what it wants, even when Eve tries to tuck loose strands behind her ear, it doesn't work; she lets out a frustrated sigh and steps in, feeling goosebumps cover her whole body.

For a few seconds, Eve is at peace. The warmth of the bath, the feel of the bubbles on her skin, and her mind goes to Villanelle...if Villanelle ever took a bath here, knowing her she most likely did, stroking the stab wound fondly, thinking of Eve, Eve could see it all, and her hand goes lower, testing the waters, almost. First, caressing her stomach, over where Villanelle's scar would be (how many times would Eve trace the same spot on her own skin and not Villanelle's?) down to her hip, feeling the bone and to her thigh...

She hasn't gotten any since Niko left, and her mind races and her eyes anxiously watch the door and back to where her hand is. Just a little closer, and she could get off. This is definitely the vodka talking. Instead, she forces herself deeper into the water, up until only her eyes and the top of her head are visible. Eve stays in the bath until the water is ice-cold, even though she wants to get out earlier because the more she's left alone with her thoughts, the more she desperately needs to get off, but she couldn't face Villanelle if she asked why Eve got out so early. She's now basically frozen, holding the towel close to her to try to get some warmth, and changing into something simple. She remembers the knife, and sticks it in the pocket of her pants.

Villanelle is sitting on Eve's bed when she's dressed. 

"How was your bath?" Villanelle says, almost as if she knows. 

Eve feels her cheeks burn. "It was fine."

"You should invite me next time."

"Piss off," Eve grumbles, and she sounds more pissed off than she is. She's just horny, and mad, because she absolutely refuses to do anything about it. Even if there was a gorgeous woman who had been flirting with Eve since the day they first met...

No. Eve swallows, hard, tries to ignore the feeling in between her legs. She plops down next to Villanelle, doesn't even ask why she's in her room.

"I thought baths were supposed to be relaxing?" Villanelle asks, her hand finding way to Eve's knee. "If you need something to take your stress away, I'd love to help you."

"Oksana!" Eve finally snaps. She doesn't know what came over her, but even Villanelle removes her hand and acts surprised. "Don't say anything else, or I swear to God."

"What -" Villanelle laughs, "You'll stab me again?"

Eve removes the knife from her pants pocket, and says, "If I do?" Villanelle has the upper hand this time, though, and they wrestle for it for a few seconds before V has Eve's knife in her hand and has it pressed up against Eve's collarbone, like the night V broke into her house and asked to have dinner. Like when Eve said she loved Villanelle for the first time. Eve had a thing about knives, she guessed. It was also incredibly hot.

Her lips are close to Eve's ear. "Don't let all my hard work that I put in saving you from the Twelve go to waste. I might get bored with you, Eve, and you won't like me anymore when I'm bored of you." Villanelle's eyes harden, are almost black with the intensity behind them and Eve should not be horny right now. It takes all of Eve's strength not to take Villanelle right then and there, move that stupid knife out of the way and close the gap in between them and feel Villanelle's lips right on her own. She blames the booze. Eve doesn't want to back down right now, though, keeps her eyes focused on Villanelle's own, wondering what she was thinking.

"Stab me," she says.

_Drunk Eve is such a fucking bitch._

Villanelle blinks, turns her head, looks once at the knife in between them, then at Eve's mouth. The woman isn't subtle, never has been since the day they met. Her jaw twitches, and then the infamous smirk is back, one that Eve has thought about more than once.

Eve convinced herself that when she went to Paris, she was going to kill Villanelle. The cat and mouse game would end, right there and then, with Villanelle bleeding out from a gunshot wound and Eve watching as she died, alone, utterly helpless and begging for Eve to save her. That was how it was going to go. Eve was going to play the vigilante here, and do what was right. Of course, plans don't always work out the way you want them to, and when Villanelle laid down next to her in the bed, all she could think about was how Eve was going to gain the upper hand. Eve wasn't going to be scared of Villanelle anymore. 

Eve was in control. That was the only way she'd win the game.

She still didn't feel in control, and now the more she thought, the more she needed them to be equals. Eve couldn't control the game one hundred percent and neither could Villanelle. 

"Stab me," she says again, moving her shirt up and pointing to the opposite side where she stabbed Villanelle. "Right here."

"I'm not going to do that, Eve." Villanelle's eyes linger longer than necessary on Eve's exposed skin, and then she puts the knife in her own pocket. "You haven't done anything in particular to piss me off that much." She inhales, and adds, "You smell nice, but your breath reeks of booze."

"I stole your flask and drank it all," Eve answers. "Thanks, by the way."

"Were you always a big drinker?" Villanelle's brow furrows. 

"Not since Niko left." _Not since you came into my life. Not since every time I think of you and what you do to me I have to drink to drown it out._ "It's not your problem, so don't pretend you care." Eve sighs, lays down on her bed and says, "How long am I going to have to be locked up in here with you? I'm going insane."

"That's...harsh." For a second, Eve thinks that Villanelle's voice cracked, but Eve thinks it's just a trick of the mind in order for Eve to feel pity. That was all it was, wasn't it? Eve truly thought that Oksana Astankova was still inside Villanelle, pounding at the walls and begging to be set free from the lifestyle of a psychopathic assassin, and Eve knew better now, even though the tiniest sliver of her still thought that she could be saved.

Oksana couldn't be saved, because she didn't want to be.

"I'm so tired." Eve rubs her eyes. "Can you just leave me alone for the rest of the night?"

"I did this..." Villanelle stands up. "I did this for you."

"Villanelle?" 

"No, Eve," Eve watches Villanelle now, almost as if she were a different person, the lost look in her eyes as she moved, "I did this for you. I saved you from the Twelve. I'm keeping you safe and making sure that you're happy, that we're both happy, here, together..." Villanelle is spiraling and Eve can't do anything but watch. "I did it all just to get you out of that fucking place, the life you were leading, I _saved_ you." V storms out of Eve's room and Eve gets up to follow, she goes to the front door and it swings open harder because of the wind. Eve's words caught in her throat.

"Don't," Eve whispers.

"You didn't even thank me." The look on Villanelle's face was going to haunt Eve for the rest of her life, was going to follow her even after death. It was enough to see Villanelle cry once today over her, but the fact that the pain Villanelle was feeling right now was so much worse, no life in her eyes, no tears this time but the feeling of complete dread that Eve felt, she was sure she would never shake it. 

Eve doesn't chase after her this time.

She waits, instead. Replays the whole conversation in her head over and over again until she drives herself crazy, sits on the floor staring at the wall until she checks the clock and it's three in the morning and Villanelle still isn't back. She waits. She waits until the anxiety she feels dies down because she was too exhausted to think more and falls asleep pressed up against the wall and the ache in her neck is going to be a bitch tomorrow. 

Eve waits.

"Hello?"

Eve jumps, literally physically jumps up and pushes herself against the other body in the room. It's not Villanelle. It's...hairier, bigger. Almost familiar. 

"Konstantin?" Eve asks in the dark, eyes darting to the clock. _4:55am. Konstantin. Shit._ Her neck hurts, and she's face to face with a man who works for the Twelve and has probably been searching for Villanelle since she went A.W.O.L and took Eve with her. She needs to get out, now. She doesn't think, just uses all of her force to push Konstantin down onto the floor. If Konstantin came to kill Eve, the both of them even, she would fight like hell. Her whole body weight on Konstantin, pinning him to the floor. "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to find you," he says, before shoving Eve off of her and leaving her in a daze. "I'm not here to hurt you."

"What?" she moves to flick on the lights and see Konstantin properly. He looks like he's aged since the last she saw of him, and there are dark bags underneath his eyes. "Didn't the Twelve send you?" 

He chuckles. "She has not told you a thing, has she?" When he realizes that Eve's confusion is real, his expression softens, and he puts a hand on Eve's. "Carolyn sent me," he says. "She asked me to find you and bring you back home to London."

"I can't go back," Eve says. "Villanelle told me the Twelve put a hit out on me."

"She lied," Konstantin answers. "Villanelle lied, Eve."

Eve doesn't feel anything, but her eyes water. 

"No," she says. "She came to my house...she told me the Twelve wanted me dead. That we needed to leave. I wasn't safe in London..." The more she talks, the more she can feel tears dripping down onto her cheeks. "You're wrong." But the more she thinks, the more she remembers of her last conversation with Villanelle, she knows it's true. Villanelle lied. 

Villanelle lied, in order to get what she wanted. In order to get Eve totally alone, under Villanelle's control. 

Eve wants to break something, to scream, to punch Konstantin in the face to get rid of the look on his face, like he knew exactly what Eve was going through and how he must feel so sorry for her, that she was manipulated like this. Eve's going to tear her own hair out. 

"Let me deal with Villanelle," Konstantin says, removing his hand. He stands up, looks around at the cabin. "You are going to get out of here," he digs through his coat once more, shows a plane ticket and hands it to Eve. "Go home, and you better do it before she finds out. Carolyn wants you to call her as soon as you're off that plane."

"S-She took my phone," Eve stutters. 

"I figured." Konstantin hands her a phone. "I know there is something going on with you two, but if you're a smart woman, you'll kill it. Immediately. You can't risk her getting too close, she'll ruin you like she ruined me, Anna, and Nadia. Go pack, before she comes back and kills me for keeping you two apart." 

"We got in a fight," Eve starts, before Konstantin waves her away. 

"Go," he orders, tossing Eve a set of keys. "She always comes back."

Eve's packed and ready to go, and awkwardly waves goodbye to Konstantin as she drives the car down the road Ivan took, praying that she'd be able to find the airport when the sun starts to rise and a city starts to come into view, her brain going a million thoughts per second, cycling through about five hundred emotions and the five stages of grief, but the only logical feeling she could hold onto was anger, because God, was she angry, though she couldn't tell if the anger she felt was directed at herself for being stupid enough to be tricked, or at Villanelle for lying to her like this and doing this to her.

It doesn't hit Eve, finally, until she's seated on the plane and mid-air how crazy she is. She starts to laugh, a full body laugh that causes people next to her to give her weird looks, but Eve didn't care. If any strangers looking at her right now knew her life and what she went through, they'd be laughing like a maniac along with her. A flight attendant asks if she's alright, and Eve can do nothing but laugh, until it calms down and she's crying, sobbing into the blanket and letting herself ride out all of her emotions at once. She remembers the last time she was in the plane, the feel of Villanelle against her, the way Eve fell asleep in the crook of her neck.

Eve hates her.

Before she knows it, she's back in London. She remembers what Konstantin said, and looks through the phone to find Carolyn's contact, and presses _Call._

"It's so nice to hear from you again, Eve," Carolyn answers on the last ring. "We have some business that needs to be discussed, don't we? I want you to meet me at the office tomorrow morning, but for now, I'm having Kenny come get you. I've already made arrangements for the safehouse."

"Why can't I go home?" 

Eve feels Carolyn hesitate. "Kenny should be there any moment now. Rest up, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Carolyn -" and Eve's been hung up on. 

There's a tap on Eve's shoulder, and how many times is she going to be scared before she calms down? Kenny is waiting, a grim look on his face, as he takes Eve's suitcase and doesn't answer any of Eve's questions. He loads up the car, waits for Eve to get into the passenger seat, and drives until he says, "Welcome back."

"Kenny..." Eve finally lets herself relax. As long as he was still talking to her, Eve felt better. "I've missed you."

He cracks a small smile at that, and then as if he'd been caught doing something wrong, he goes back to his poker face. "I'm not allowed to tell you what happened while you were gone."

"Okay," Eve says. "Just take me home. Please."

"I can't do that." 

"Why not?"

"I can't say." Kenny looks at her from the corner of his eye, and Eve knows he's just dying to tell her, but Carolyn was a powerful woman. He was scared of his own mother. Anyone with Carolyn Martens as a mother would be terrified. "You just have to trust me." Kenny drives her to the safehouse instead, hidden in between an alley and an abandoned coffee shop, and gives her another set of keys. "To help you get in," Kenny explains. 

"Thanks." Eve watches Kenny drive off, takes the keys and her suitcase and tries like hell to budge the door to the safehouse open. After using almost all of her energy, she finally gets it to open and nearly collapses onto the floor, too tired to move another inch or even explore the place. The exhaustion Eve has felt finally drowns her, and Eve sleeps on the floor like a dog, her bones aching and her head pounding. 

She fucking hates Villanelle.


End file.
